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Page 7
A Scramble In Time
Chapter 7: The Final Solution - Operation Barbi Girl
By Feldmarshall Edwin Rommel
Quite a bit of the tenseness that existed in the Reichstag before, has returned. We join the early morning Uberkommand briefing.
" Zo you DUMKOPFS!!!, Ve have ein enormous army of 3 million men, 3300 panzers and nearly 2000 flugzeuge sitting in France twiddling their thumbs, while on all fronts more men are trying to find a reason to join zhem- EXPLAIN!!"
"Ahem- Herr Uberkommander- Zhis force was gathered to help ze verdamt Britishers mit ze invasion of Amerika- It zeems now zhat ze zo called operation Scpice Girls voz an huge misinformation operation launched by our enemies. Ze men were all eager to go to Amerika und zee ze Statue of Liberty und visit all zhose big schops und drive zhose big autos, but fortunately all ist not lost…"
"JA- UND HOW DO YOU VORK ZHAT VON OUT!"
" Vell Herr Uberkomander- You vhere always saying zhat our natural enemy ist ze Ruskies und zhat ve should hav zhis urge to go east, but ve could never manage ze manpower.."
"JA- go on.."
"Vell- zhe men zhemselves have shown zhat zhey can find enough manpower given zhe right motivation.."
"JA- I'm listening"
"Vell- ve can schtill tell zhem zhat ve invade ze Amerikas- but ve go zhe long vay around- through Russia.."
"JA- JA- Himmel- I like it"
"Vell- we have made ze operational plan. Ze young offizers, they are schtill making ze party every night mit zhat delinquent Macarena song, vont it called Operazion Barbi Girl. Ve of ze old guard feel zhat it should be called Operazion Barefoot through Russia, since it vill not be ein joke"
"JA- Zounds good- Call it Operazion Barbarossa- ve don't vant to alert ze Russians about our intentions, und vonce we pass Moscow, ve schtart calling it Operazion Barbi Girl to make ze young offizers think zhat ve are listening to zheir ideas"
"Ja- Ja- Zhat ist zo good- Vell ve vant to transfer all zhe armies from France to ze area north und south of ze Pripet marshes, und zhen ve can attack zhem in three groups. Two to ze north und von to ze south. Ze point of main effort will be made to ze the North. Ze southern of zhe two army groups-in zhe north vill have the task of breaking out zhe area around and to the north of Warsaw mit exceptionally strong armour and motorized formazions und of destroying ze enemy forces in White Russia. Zhis vill create ein situation which will enable strong formations ob mobile troops to swing north; such formations will zhen co-operate with the northern army group-advancing from East Prussia in the general direction of Leningrad-in destroying the enemy forces in zhe area of the Baltic states. Only after the accomplishment of zhese offensive operations, which must be followed by the capture of Leningrad and Kronstadt, are further offensive operations to be initiated with the objective of occupying the important centre of communications and of armaments manufacture, Moscow. Zhen on east through Siberia und Amerika"
"JA- Zhis is good- Vhot number directive are ve on now?- Give me ein pen und paper..
DIRECTIVE # 21
The Fuhrer and Supreme Commander of the Armed forces
OKW/WFSt./Abt.L(I) Nr.33 408/40
Top Secret.
Directive No. 21
Operation Barbarossa
The armed forces of Germany must be prepared, even before the conclusion of the war with England, to defeat Soviet Russia in one rapid campaign ('Operation Barbarossa.') and then to proceed with the invasion of the west coast of America (Operation Barbi Girl). The Army must ….Four hours later a stream of messages wakes the slumbering giant in France and the forces starts moving east for the Pripet marshes. As the dust settles two days later, only a huge pile of gate hinges (Mk IV) marks the spot where the huge army once camped.
A few days later, we join the early morning Uberkommand briefing again.
"JA- vhot ist news?- Are ve ready"
"Jawohl Herr Uberkommander- zhe Armies have been assembled, and ze Russians schtill does not suspect anything, und ze Americans even less-"
"Ja- zhis is good- und on all ozzer fronts ve are again moving forwearts instead of backwearts- Ja? It is cold in here, has zomevhon zeen mein greatcoat- it was on ze hook in ze hallway, but it is missing now. It ist ein schpezial greatcoat given to me by Eva to commemorate ze Beerhalle Putsch… I vould hate fur anything to happen to it- und two bottles of schpezial French Brandy also disappeared from mein drinks cabinet. If you know anything about zhis it vould be better to zay zo now.. Ve are looking for zome offizers for ze Ost. Talking of vhich.. Ve need zomevhon to blame ze Operazion Schpice Girls fiasco on- vho was responsible"
The Uberkommander of the Wehrmacht jumps up- "It voz him"- pointing at the Uberkommander of the Luftwaffe. "Nein- are you mad- it voz HIM!", pointing at the Uberkommander of the Kriegsmarine. "Hah- Zhis ist not possible- I voz not even here- I am zure it voz zhat General Bosh in ze Wehr Kommunucationz zhat schtarted zhis vhole thing!"- A chorus of "JA- IT VOZ BOSH!" follows.
"Ja?- Find Bosch, find my greatcoat and find mein brandy or hehehehehe- Go east young man!!"
The officers scurry out of the briefing room, upsetting chairs in the rush to get out of the door before the Uberkommander selects them to command the armies going east. Each of them vill not rest before the greatcoat, the brandy and Bosh have been found.
Private Bosh at that moment, is still some three kilometers away from the main gate of the Sfeg compound in the Harz mountains. He is on his way to find the reason why Rommel did not answer his desperate messages from Berlin last week, and in doing so caused his fall from grace. He is not even aware of the cold mountain air, or that he is clenching a mark IV gate hinge in his hand in a very determined manner.
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