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Article Type: Comment
Article Date: May 28, 2001
Eighteen months ago Douglas and I parted company. The issues were primarily business related. For almost ten months we had very little contact. Then late in 2000 we talked, and decided we would work together again.
What if we had leveled all kinds of public charges against one another?
What if we had said nasty things and called one another names?
What if we had acted like children instead of adults? What if we had tried to draw others into the disagreement?
What if some simulation columnist had heard we had parted company and dug for dirty details, playing on the hurt that inevitably comes from such a parting? (Some people call this airing of dirty laundry entertainment . . . I call it destructive pseudo-journalism).
Who cares anyway? What difference does it make?
Second, it fragments the online community. Even those who are generally objective, balanced, fun loving individuals often take sides. The dark side of human nature prevails. Jealousy, envy, and even hatred grow like weeds in damp and dark soil. Egos are bruised and claims to innocence are made, lies increase rather than truth, and the framework that could result in peace and reconciliation is never built.
The fragmentation of community breeds suspicion and caution. Like a hidden virus, this nasty stuff spreads. Everyone who has a grievance feels suddenly justified. In the worst cases, a “feeding frenzy” of jealousy might appear, and everyone attacks the accused individual, showing the absolutely worst side of human nature.
If you have ever been the victim of slander or hostility, you know that of which I speak. It ain’t pretty, and it ain’t fun.
Over the years as a journalist in the area of combat simulations, I’ve made many friends. Inevitably, I’ve hurt a few people as well. Usually, the pain I’ve inflicted has been as a result of my own stupidity, selfishness or insensitivity. Sometimes, it has been the result of misunderstanding and the collusion of circumstance.
Where possible, I’ve tried to make amends to individuals I’ve hurt.
Sometimes these kinds of wounds seem unavoidable. We are a competitive lot . . . that is one of the appeals of the genre, and it draws aggressive types. Sometimes it can be tough to lose a battle and admit one has lost; other times the loss brings jealousy and a desire for revenge. Only the most secure people can fight a tough fight and shake hands and genuinely wish the victor real happiness.
But a few are not. That saddens me, because I believe I am part of the failure, and I know I have caused others pain. I regret that, and it pains me. I’ve asked for forgiveness where I know I’ve made mistakes.
I wonder what we as a community can do to keep the peace among us? Doing so will make our forums more inviting for newcomers, and more pleasant places to hang out. The entire community, and even the gaming developers would benefit, because where honesty and civility and even HONOR rule, good things happen.
I have a few suggestions, and the KEYWORD is HONOR.
Honor has to do with truth and courage, and a belief in the dignity of human life.
Honor recognizes that there is an unwritten set of rules, and those who fail to abide by them deserve neither our respect nor our support.
The failure to live by that unwritten code is a failure that affects everyone in the community, whether we know it or not. We either create together a community that encourages respect for others, or we create a community that has the seeds of its own destruction nurtured in hidden places. One day those seeds will spring up into a full grown tree, and the community we have tried to maintain will explode in our faces. With the loss of that community we would lose something precious and difficult or impossible to recover.
I would like to propose a Code of Honor for combat simulation fans everywhere. Like all meaningful codes, it will be voluntary, but enforced by the entire community of those who hold to the ideal. I’ll call this proposal the Knight’s code, since honor was alive and well in both world wars, even when those who had no honor tried to do things that were less than honorable.
Whenever you see someone acting in a way that is less than honorable, remind them that we are a community of honor, and that honor builds lasting community.
Don’t frequent or support websites that don’t uphold this code. They may seem like ordinary, informative places to hang out. They are not. They are eroding the foundations of our online community, and that will hurt us all. Instead, challenge them to change.
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Comment: Give Peace a Chance
by Len "Viking1" HjalmarsonArticle Type: Comment
Article Date: May 28, 2001
Why Are Combat Simulation Fans So Antagonistic?
Back around 1996 or so COMBATSIM.COM publisher, Douglas Helmer, and I founded this webzine. The site rapidly grew to become THE place on the internet for combat simulation fans. By December of 1999 over a quarter of a million people read the articles on COMBATSIM.COM every month.Eighteen months ago Douglas and I parted company. The issues were primarily business related. For almost ten months we had very little contact. Then late in 2000 we talked, and decided we would work together again.
What if we had leveled all kinds of public charges against one another?
What if we had said nasty things and called one another names?
What if we had acted like children instead of adults? What if we had tried to draw others into the disagreement?
What if some simulation columnist had heard we had parted company and dug for dirty details, playing on the hurt that inevitably comes from such a parting? (Some people call this airing of dirty laundry entertainment . . . I call it destructive pseudo-journalism).
Who cares anyway? What difference does it make?
The Destruction of Community
First, the public airing of dirty laundry does no good for anyone. It increases and magnifies differences and throws a lot of dirt in the air. Inevitably, even those who have nothing to do with the circumstances are sullied by reading the sordid details.Second, it fragments the online community. Even those who are generally objective, balanced, fun loving individuals often take sides. The dark side of human nature prevails. Jealousy, envy, and even hatred grow like weeds in damp and dark soil. Egos are bruised and claims to innocence are made, lies increase rather than truth, and the framework that could result in peace and reconciliation is never built.
The fragmentation of community breeds suspicion and caution. Like a hidden virus, this nasty stuff spreads. Everyone who has a grievance feels suddenly justified. In the worst cases, a “feeding frenzy” of jealousy might appear, and everyone attacks the accused individual, showing the absolutely worst side of human nature.
If you have ever been the victim of slander or hostility, you know that of which I speak. It ain’t pretty, and it ain’t fun.
Over the years as a journalist in the area of combat simulations, I’ve made many friends. Inevitably, I’ve hurt a few people as well. Usually, the pain I’ve inflicted has been as a result of my own stupidity, selfishness or insensitivity. Sometimes, it has been the result of misunderstanding and the collusion of circumstance.
Where possible, I’ve tried to make amends to individuals I’ve hurt.
Sometimes these kinds of wounds seem unavoidable. We are a competitive lot . . . that is one of the appeals of the genre, and it draws aggressive types. Sometimes it can be tough to lose a battle and admit one has lost; other times the loss brings jealousy and a desire for revenge. Only the most secure people can fight a tough fight and shake hands and genuinely wish the victor real happiness.
A Code of Honor
I’ve been grieved at having lost a couple of friends over the years. I’ve worked with many excellent individuals, fellow gamers and virtual pilots, game developers and visionaries. Most of the people I’ve worked with are my friends to this day.But a few are not. That saddens me, because I believe I am part of the failure, and I know I have caused others pain. I regret that, and it pains me. I’ve asked for forgiveness where I know I’ve made mistakes.
I wonder what we as a community can do to keep the peace among us? Doing so will make our forums more inviting for newcomers, and more pleasant places to hang out. The entire community, and even the gaming developers would benefit, because where honesty and civility and even HONOR rule, good things happen.
I have a few suggestions, and the KEYWORD is HONOR.
Knights of the Sky
Honor was a well known word in the previous generation, and it is a word well known among military veterans.Honor has to do with truth and courage, and a belief in the dignity of human life.
Honor recognizes that there is an unwritten set of rules, and those who fail to abide by them deserve neither our respect nor our support.
The failure to live by that unwritten code is a failure that affects everyone in the community, whether we know it or not. We either create together a community that encourages respect for others, or we create a community that has the seeds of its own destruction nurtured in hidden places. One day those seeds will spring up into a full grown tree, and the community we have tried to maintain will explode in our faces. With the loss of that community we would lose something precious and difficult or impossible to recover.
I would like to propose a Code of Honor for combat simulation fans everywhere. Like all meaningful codes, it will be voluntary, but enforced by the entire community of those who hold to the ideal. I’ll call this proposal the Knight’s code, since honor was alive and well in both world wars, even when those who had no honor tried to do things that were less than honorable.
The Knight’s Code
The Beliefs- Honor recognizes that there are always two sides to every story, and that we are all capable of being shit-heads.
- Honor gives the other guy the benefit of the doubt. He may lack information. He may not genuinely be out to hurt you.
- Honor respects the privacy of others. If it doesn’t involve you, don’t get involved.
- Honor recognizes that we are a community and that what hurts one, affects us all.
- Honor knows that others have a right to their opinion, even when wrong.
- Honor values humility; while I may be an expert, I can still learn something.
- It is not honorable to kick a man when he is down. If he is already in the chute, leave him alone.
- It is not honorable to spread news you don’t KNOW to be true. Have you checked with the source?
- It is not honorable to share information that you have agreed to hold confidential.
- It is not honorable to encourage others to spread rumors, or to air dirty laundry. Don’t read their columns, and don’t encourage them to gossip in the name of journalism.
- It is not honorable to take sides when you don’t know the facts. Instead of blindly defending a friend, encourage them to take it offline and to seek peace.
Whenever you see someone acting in a way that is less than honorable, remind them that we are a community of honor, and that honor builds lasting community.
Don’t frequent or support websites that don’t uphold this code. They may seem like ordinary, informative places to hang out. They are not. They are eroding the foundations of our online community, and that will hurt us all. Instead, challenge them to change.
“Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck.
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute
In the sight of God and man.”
Proverbs 3:3,4
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