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Microsoft Sidewinder Game Voice
by Joe "Impaler" Highman

Product Name: Microsoft Sidewinder Game Voice
Category: Voice Control
Manufacturer: Microsoft
Release Date: Released
Minimum Spec: PC with P233 MHz or Higher; Win 98 or later; 64 MB RAM; 45 MB hdrive space.
Demo: Not Applicable
Article Date: November 14th, 2000

“G” for Gear?


I struggled to bring my crippled B-17 Flying Fortress back to base. The ship bucked violently in the air. It was my own stupid fault. I ordered the Group to abort the first bomb run and to go around again, and by then, the flak gunners on the ground had our range figured out. The ship was pummeled, and how she ever held together long enough to cross the French coast for the leg to England is beyond me. I silently thanked the engineers who designed the bird, and hoped and prayed that they hadn’t skipped a lot of classes!

Soon, the home field loomed ahead. My copilot helped me to turn into the glide path down to the runway. The aircraft fought our controls like a belligerent child having a tantrum. Sweat rolled from the brim of my cap as the third of four engines sputtered and died. Even without its bomb payload, the B17 is a massive airplane, and the one remaining engine simply could not provide enough power to maintain airspeed. We were coming down quickly now, but I knew that if the landing gear could hold out, we might just have a chance!

I pressed the G key to lower the landing gear and readied the ship for a hard landing on the end of the runway. The copilot called out the altitude, but when he said 10 feet to go and the ground looked a bit closer, I worried. The aircraft smashed violently into the concrete runway, sparks and debris filling the air. The noise of aluminum and Plexiglas grinding mercilessly overpowered even the sound of thought. Soon, the craft broke in two just aft of the radio room and the remaining fuel in the wings ignited, consuming the ship and its 10-man crew.


I wonder what this button does?



“What the heck happened?” I protested. I received a message saying that next time I try to land, I might want to lower my landing gear. What?!? I pressed the stupid G key, what more does it want? Then it dawned on me. In this particular simulation, the G key tells the gunners to ready their weapons or to hold their fire. The U key toggles the Undercarriage landing gear! I cursed my own clumsy stupidity and the intelligence of whomever programmed this game to use U when every other flight sim in the universe seemed to use G!

Wouldn’t it be terrific if instead of having to remember individual keystrokes, that one could instead simply tell the computer what to do? Wouldn’t you prefer to speak the words “Gear down,” and lo and behold, your landing gear descends? How nice would it be to file away all those not-so-quick-reference guides forever?

 

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