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IMHO: Chips in the Back Of Their Necks
by Bob "Groucho" MarksOff with the Gloves
Ah, screw it. Not to put too fine a point on it, but let's face it, CFS2 is to flight sims as MacDonald's Big Macs are to gourmet dining. Why? Just as a Big Mac and fries is food, CFS2 is a flight sim. And just as a Big Mac and fries will satiate your hunger, so too will CFS2. Mechanically speaking, it's a gem. It's stable. It runs consistently. It loads easily; and unlike a Big Mac, it doesn't leave that burger smell on your hands.
The FM, for the most part, may even be quasi-plausible, though I have yet to figure out why the P-38 acts as a much better carrier-based fighter than any of the Mitsubishi or Vought mounts do. Surprisingly, however, the FS2K-based FM is one of the few things that actually benefit CFS2 from its older civsim cousin. It's not exceptional, to be sure, but it is convincing and challenging enough. The ability and requirement to screw around with such minutiae as cowl flaps and fuel management is a welcome addition to the WWII sim world. And oh, yeah: the aircraft are stunningly rendered---downright beautiful, in fact. That goes double for the smoke and flames of damaged aircraft which seems very authentic, but is that enough? I don't think so. IMHO, everything else is a grisly train wreck. Amidst all of the gorgeous graphics and apparently accurate flight models, much has obviously been left wanting.
The Artificial Intelligence--especially of the friendly persuasion--may be artificial; but sure as the Grumman Iron Works built stout airplanes it is not intelligent. This lack of common sense on the part of your wingmen seems to have another effect, as what was once hyped as a full set of wingman commands has devolved into a few requests that are largely ignored or replied with lame excuses. How many times, while asking your own wingman for help, can you hear “I can't, I'm engaged” before the urge to snap like a cheap fan belt overcomes one's self control?
The enemy AI may be able to outnumber you, but is obviously manned by the Terminally Stupid. If I had a nickel for every time I've watched many a bandit Zero go into the vertical--even on the Ace setting--I'd have enough for a 12-pack of Fosters by now (and I'm not absolutely sure it's even sold that way). Tail gunners in Bettys and Kates, on the other hand, are obviously top-shelf graduates of the Imperial Japanese Sniper Academy.
Sound? While the onboard audio is actually quite good, the whiny buzz of the Briggs & Stratton 2-stroke lawnmower engines that power the other aircraft sound incredibly out of place. And why no surround sound?
The view system is as hobbled and limited more than any combat sim should ever be. Dammit! I want to see how badly shot up my ride is (yes, I know that I've already mocked the AI's ability, but I do get nailed by them on occasion) without slewing the camera from Tokyo to Los Angeles . . . and back. I want to pick the angles, thank you very much. Cycling the yellow box through every airplane in the sky in order to find and get a padlock on the bugger who is taking shots at you is also wildly annoying.
Don't get me started on some of the weak damage modeling. Look, it's common sense: If, as CFS2 seems to suggest, the Japanese merchant ship Teriyaki Maru and her ilk could be put on the silty bottom by a single .50 caliber gun pass from a Hellcat, then one could easily walk from Guam to Iwo Jima on a handy yet very rusty sidewalk. Check the tide charts before attempting that little hike. I have personally done some SCUBA diving on a few of the sunken Japanese merchant hulks residing in Kwajalein in the Marshall Islands, and let me tell you, they were all sunk by something a lot more violent than a simple large-caliber strafing. A bomb splitting the bow or whacking the magazine will normally do the trick, but some yoyo spitting lead at a merchantman will normally just be wasting ammo. These are steel ships, not wooden sampans.
Admittedly, these are fairly minor points. My biggest gripe with CFS2 is the complete and total lack of immersion. I've read threads and reviews with people gushing over how deeply immersive CFS2 is, leaving me to once again search for the chip in the back of their neck. The horribly forced comic-book campaign puts the player into the life of a WWII Navy or Marine pilot no more effectively than reading People Magazine in the grocery store checkout line plants one into the bedroom of Cameron Diaz. The flow of the campaign makes no more sense than the US presidential election . . . a series of quasi-random events where actual results often matter less than meeting some ill-defined goal. I'll have my lawyer speak to the CO. Draw a picture of that, comic boy.
The bottom line, IMHO, is this: CFS2 has no soul and should be stamped with a Best Before date ten days after it goes on your hard drive. Yes, I agree that the open architecture of the MS flight sim franchises has the effect of prolonging that somewhat, but it's very difficult to sort the really good add-ons from the F-15 flight model with a Corsair skin. As boxed and sold, CFS2 is the vanilla "shake" of simulations: filling, yet ultimately bland and without nutritional value whatsoever.
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