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Daily News
By Gail Helmer
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EAW Fans Unite For ELF 2001
ELF 2001 Update
ELF 2001 is the first fly-in convention of players of MicroProse's European Air War. The convention is taking place at David "Mane Raptor" Joyce's farm just outside of Lincoln, Maine, USA. Participants have flown in from as far away as Britain and South Africa for the occasion.
Here is the first of what will surely be more updates during this seven day event:
ACHTUNG! AMERIKA INVADED AFTER 225 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE
DTG: 7:08:01-08H00Z
Lincoln:Maine
Unconfirmed reports are streaming in that there have been an invasion of belligerent forces in the otherwise quiet backwoods of this part of America. Neighbors bordering the property of one Mr. David Joyce report hearing the roar of high powered engines and heavy weaponry till around 11 PM last night. This was punctuated by heavily accented screams sounding somewhat German. The FBI and state police have been placed on standby and the National guard are being called up.
Neighbors also report that they have seen several armored vehicles and a convoy of trucks carrying various supplies entering the property the past weeks. There is a strong suspicion that a group of determined veterans might have been preparing for an invasion and siege that they somehow gotten wind of through an extensive global information network. There have been many rumors the past 6 months of an organization called ELF 2001 planning something big in the area. The FBI is investigating.
Wild animals have been streaming out of nearby woods heading north away from a man reported to be stumbling through the woods, swinging an ancient blue teapot and singing at the top of his voice. The man was later spotted at night, claiming to be seeing little bright lights (when he was finally captured and subdued, it was explained to him that those were fireflies).
It has also been noted that a number of Canadians have been sneaking across the border heading in the general direction of Lincoln. Customs officials report that these travelers all declared that they are well equipped with various big rigs, but were only “for pleasure”. We’ll report later when they find out their tent is not waterproof.
Stay tuned for further reports as the situation develops.
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